How Do YOU Keep It Together During a Tantrum?

This is a LOADED question.Unfortunately, I'm not sure I have the answer for you, but I'm going to do my best. She says as BOTH of her children melt into a pile of shouting over an outside toy... gah. That's the way it always happens, right? I feel like just when I think "yes! Today has been good. We're listening. We're behaving. We're good. I can breathe." Not 45 seconds later does something happen to turn everything on its head. and today is no different.We also happen to be in that chapter of life, with a 2-year old and a 4-year-old where everything is the worst thing ever.Wrong shade of blue toy: meltdownSister touched a toy you looked at 3 days ago: meltdownIt's Tuesday: meltdownWe're the lucky ones though. At least our kids sometimes behave when they're away from us, with their grandparents or at school. Thank goodness for little blessings. It's not always possible to keep it together. Trust me, I know. The amount of patience it takes to get through a particularly rough day of tantrums from if not one, but two toddlers is probably unmeasured. No one has been brave (or sane) enough to gather that data. BUT here are a few tips that help our family to weather the storms.1) Figure out the cause:It is usually more than "she touched my toy" that sets off our little ones. (but note, that sometimes, it's just that she touched the toy) Are they overtired? Is it near naptime? Have they eaten? Are they hot? Sick? Is this the most recent transgression in a series of unfortunate events? Once you can identify WHAT is truly setting them off- you have a better chance of pulling them back together.2) Don't match their energy:They yell, you yell. You're louder; they have more energy. It's a vicious cycle. Instead, try going for the royal family's approach. Meet your kiddo on eye level (yes that means even I have to get my pregnant rear onto the floor to make this work) and speak softly, but firmly enough that they have to quiet down in order to hear you. The drastic difference in volume and approach might just be the thing that switches them out of total-tantrum-mode.3) Listen:During the time leading up to the tantrum and once they come back down- listen to what they're saying. Are they complaining about something? Are they frustrated that they can't share their emotions adequately? Are they feeling misunderstood? These are all cues that kids can't really comprehend or share. Paying attention to these cues can help you and your kiddo form a plan or identify when something might go amiss the next time.4) Revisit Expectations:This one is also for post-tantrum-time. Once both you and kiddo are calm and able to listen. Revisit the situation. Discuss what happened, the expectations you have and ways they could better handle a similar situation the next time.5) Breathe:Take a moment before YOU fly off the handle to take a breath. Just one. But make it a deep one. The act of pausing to assess the situation will help you to be more level-headed when tackling it head-on.BONUS: Be ConsistentThis is hard. Sometimes you're exhausted, and it's easy to just give in to whatever. Trying these things once or twice won't be the magic cure. Sometimes, as mentioned before, nothing you do will help. But a parent can try, right? Consistency really is key in your messaging, what you allow your children to do and the boundaries you set for behavior both in your home and outside of it.And if none of that works, I encourage you to find a glass of your favorite beverage, a book or a relaxing spot at the end of the day and vow to try again tomorrow. You're doing your best with everything you have on your plate.  Child rearing isn't easy, and you probably have a job, a partner and other responsibilities seeking your attention as well. You may be a super parent, but even super(wo)man needs a break sometimes!How do you keep yourself together (and sane) when your kiddo throws an epic tantrum?Be Great,M