Zone Defense

There are children everywhere!

Once you add more children to the mix than you have hands, you're automatically placed into a zone defense type of situation. I, personally, enjoy the zone defense approach (one of my favorites from my HS coaching days). I do think, and hear me out because we're still in the early stages here, that the zone method of raising kids thrives in an atmosphere of constant communication. Which is even more difficult to achieve when you have multiple little mouths adding their noise to the mix. We can not assume that the other parent knows what we're thinking, hoping or wanting to do- so clear, consistent conversation is key to the family's happiness.

Individual Attention

Simply because we're operating in a 2-on-3 doesn't mean that we can't spend time one-on-one with each child to ensure that they still feel valued, heard and tended to. We started this method within days of Baby Groot arriving home. As is common after childbirth, I was more or less homebound with Groot due to the presence of germs out and about as well as my post-childbirth exhaustion. As such, the Target, grocery store and quick-pick-up-meal runs would have to be done by Hubs. He made sure to take the older two when possible to give them a change of scenery as well as giving mommy & baby some quiet time as well. This also helps them to understand that Daddy is just as capable of caring for them as Mommy has been. One day we decided that it would be a Bubba & Daddy day and a Mommy & Little Bear Day. This was really just a way to show each of the older children that we value our time with them and that they can still have our (mostly) undivided attention. Daddy & Bubba went on an errand run including a Lego pickup (Bubba's favorite). Mommy & Little Bear spent time coloring and doing art projects as well as discussing Tinkerbell and her friends. Though this was technically a "normal day" in our lives we were able to make it a bit more special for each child. (Groot was snug as a bug during nap time, so he was tended to as well.) When Bubba returned from his trip with Daddy, his behavior was calm, he was kind to his siblings and he was respectful to his parents. All of the things we ask of him. There are other days, when Bubba or Little Bear feel stuck inside (it's too warm for Baby Groot outside during the day at the moment) when their behavior takes a turn toward the negative. When this happens, we usually try to change the activity, offer something new or just separate the two budding WWE stars for a bit of a break. We plan to incorporate more regular one-on-one times with the older two to ensure they still know that they're important in our family despite the attention that the new baby gets due to his needs. It's truly a balancing act and we're lucky that we have family around who can help us share the attention with the bigger kids as well.Additionally, we have been trying to teach Little Bear some independence. Bubba had previously been in daycare (before-Little Bear) and attends preschool 3 days per week. Due to Little Bear's age, it is harder to find activities for her to do independently- so once a week, for 30 minutes she gets to go to ballet class! If you ask her how she got to be such a big girl she always answers "cause dance class!" The transition was a bit rough in the beginning, including tears and some hugs from the new friends in her class. Eventually, she started looking forward to the classes so much so that we've signed her up for the whole school year! (Does that automatically make me a dance mom!?)

Make it Work for You!

I'm going to provide you with a gentle nugget reminder: this may not work for your family. If your spouse works odd hours, doesn't have a paternity leave or your family has other circumstances, you may need to get creative with your parenting. Isn't that the name of the game in a nutshell? I feel that in the end we're all winging it and making the best of what we have. The most important thing for our family is that we help our kids to recognize that while they may need to take turns to have our full or undivided attention, they are important and they matter as a part of our family. No matter how many little people are running about.

How do you manage kiddos when they outnumber your hands?

Be Great,M