Time for Mommy & Daddy
Hubs asked me the other day if I had noticed his eye being red or anything in his eye. My response was telling.I said "To tell you the truth, I don't think I've had a minute to look at your eye much less your face to give you an answer!" Isn't that the way things go?When a new baby arrives, mommy & daddy time- in any form - takes a definite backseat.
What Is This TIME You Speak Of?
When a new baby arrives whether he is the first, third or twenty-seventh, things in the house are going to change. The requirements of your time shift in big ways, mainly in the amount of sleep you get. This does not mean that making yourself or your partner a priority gets to take a permanent backseat but it does slip a little. It becomes more difficult, yes but not impossible. Will you get to grab a quick babysitter and go out to dinner? Probably not right away? Depending on the timing as well as if you're nursing you may not be able to or want to, be away from the baby. Can the baby come with you? They can but with the number of germs out in public, it may not be a good idea during the first few weeks. We've gotta keep that baby healthy and protected!
What You Can Do
Netflix is your friend. At least it is our friend. Especially in those last few weeks of pregnancy, when I just felt exhausted and uncomfortable, Netflix comedy shows were my go-to. I would also recommend finding an easy show to binge with your partner that isn't too involved but keeps your interest. We watched the Great British Bake Off and some true crime type shows. I highly recommend both You may be up at odd hours and having something to keep you awake and focused may be the ticket to surviving the night.Plan ahead. Ask family members or caregivers you trust to help with the older kiddos. We're very lucky that both sets of the kids grandparents (my parents and hubs' parents) are within 30 minutes of our house. The bonus is that they're willing and happy to take the older two to do fun activities! (The park, Chuck-E-Cheese, swimming, lunch, etc). This gives the older kids an opportunity to be doted up while Hubs and I take a few moments to run errands, grab a quick dinner or go to the bookstore with the baby.Be Understanding. This goes both ways. Mom, you're hella busy at the moment, both physically an mentally. You're healing AND quite possibly the life source for a tiny human. Oh, and you're not sleeping... bonus! Partner, you're helping with the older kids, probably working and, surprise, you're not sleeping either. As you can't and shouldn't take out frustrations on the kids, it's easy to show frustration to your partner instead. Here's where it takes a little more effort. Both parties need to take a deep breath and understand that this time is trying for everyone. Find the little moments and don't be afraid to get a bit silly in your sleepless-state. Laughter IS the best!Remember, this too shall pass. On baby's first birthday you'll look back and wonder where in the world the time went. This difficult time will pass but as a note, it'll be replaced by other difficult child-rearing experiences but hopefully, you'll be able to sleep. It's all worth it when you have a partner to share in the sleepless nights and exciting celebrations!
Show Them Some Love
While attention may be free as far as the wallet is concerned, it does take some brain currency. (Which you may find more expensive these days) While you're navigating some weird new something during the day send a quick text to your partner to let you know you're thinking of them. A smiley face, a funny GIF, a meme or even an entertaining or interesting tweet could make them smile. We've also started saving some of our stories until after the kids go to bed. This lets us chat and share while I'm feeding the baby or we're watching TV. Though we're busy we are able to spend more time chatting about light topics while we're changing diapers and feeding the baby. Small reminders or gestures are going to go even farther now. Don't forget to share a smile and a reassuring hug. Don't be afraid to share your successes and your worries- you can work through them as a team!
How do you spend time with your partner after the arrival of a new baby?
Let us know, below!Be Great,M